HOW TO AVOID BEING A DIVORCE STATISTIC THE SECOND TIME AROUND

BLACK COUPLE

 

“My partner and I are a perfect match for one another and the love between us is inspired.”

Positive Relationship Affirmation for Attracting Excellent Relationships

 

The above affirmation is a powerful declaration of love that most people would probably say at the beginning of a new relationship; yet the fact is, 40 to 50 percent of marriages in the United States end up in divorce, with the average marriage lasting for only 8 years according to The U.S. Census Bureau.  The statistics in Canada are only slightly different with the average marriage lasting for 13 years while the divorce rate hovers at 41%.  (According to Statistics Canada)

 

Given these facts, a wise person does not forge full STEAM ahead investing their time, energy, effort and love in a long-term relationship without taking the time to get to know their potential partner. Smart people do not sleep with or make a child with someone until they have a sense of their PPP -IQ.

 

What’s that you may ask?

A Personal Partner Profile:

A set of guiding principles that you use to help you decide whether or not you want to invest in a romantic long-term relationship with another person.

 

I’ve attracted the most loving person in my life and life is now full of pleasure.”

Positive Relationship Affirmations for Attracting Excellent Relationships

 

Although affirmations are important  to keep us motivated, inspired,   positive and hopeful when attempting to discern  the potential of a long-term relationship,  getting  grounded, focused and clear  and maintaining some realm of common sense also has its’ merits.

 

In this world of quick relationships taking the time to get a good sense of a potential partner is powerful information that can guide how you move forward in your potential relationship.  Slowing things down is really not such a bad idea. This rings particularly true for women as our bonding hormones can sell us out if we connect and attach to someone too quickly before we really get to know them.

 

Here are three key areas that people need to pay particular attention to; areas that anyone can explore before hitching their wagon to someone long term. They include questions in the area of relationships: coping strategies and values. It is important to keep these questions at the forefront when thinking about the potential of a long-term partner.

 

 

  1. How does your potential partner treat the most important people in their life?

This included family of origin, children and previous relationships.

What  is your potential partner’s previous intimate relationship history?

Is there someone they are still emotionally connected to?

Are they still arguing with the ex- partner?

How your potential partner manages their emotional baggage gives you important information about how they will manage their relationship with you. If your potential partner has not resolved issues in their first relationship and does not have clear boundaries with their ex-partner or family of origin members for that matter, those issues will intrude in the new relationship and interfere in its establishment.  The new relationship may have difficulty getting itself off the ground because of past relationship unresolved issues and lack of boundaries.

 

  1. How does your potential partner manage their stress?

What stress management and coping skills do they have?

When, where and how do they get upset and angry?

Taking time to slow down to get a real sense of these issues is paramount.  Someone who uses marijuana, alcohol or other substances to calm themselves and relax is sending a clear   message to you about their ability to self-soothe or lack thereof.   They may have a chemical dependency or undiagnosed mental health issues – pay attention to their behaviour as this is important.

 

  1. Do you actually like your potential partners personality and character?

Putting aside physical attraction, and great sex, do you actually like the person that you are with as a human being?

Do you have a good sense of their beliefs and values, their overall philosophy about life; do they live in alignment with their philosophy and do you know what is important to them? Do you now their beliefs about money and how do they handle it? And finally, do you understand where they stand in terms of religion, spirituality if and how those issues are important to them.

 

 

When we take the time to look at persons behaviour and not just listen to their words; when we take the time to see if words and behaviour are in alignment we get a sense of the persons integrity and character. Most individuals display who they are their values, characteristics, beliefs from the very beginning, ignoring these qualities, pretending they don’t exist, or even worse, knowing that they exist and thinking that you have the power to change them is just downright foolhardy.

 

For those people seeking to find a second-long term partner, using the Personal Partner Profile or some form of it, to help assess whether a relationship has   long term potential. not only helps the individual to stay grounded in their courting, it also helps to lessen their potential of becoming a   divorce statistic second time around.

 

“I see everything with loving eyes and I love everything that I discover.”

Positive Relationship Affirmations for Attracting Excellent Relationships

COUPLES

 

 

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About Em-Powered-Solutions

Veronica's purpose in life has been to inspire, motivate and empower individuals and organizations to help them to find creative solutions in transforming their situation or circumstances. She has a demonstrated track record of making a difference in the lives of people and organizations. Her expertise includes services in the area of public speaking presentations, key note addresses; facilitation of seminars and workshops in the following areas: health, wellness, stress management, self esteem building, relationship building, emotional healing, empowerment strategies, personal motivation and growth with large and small organizations, as well as providing 1-1 counselling and coaching to individuals in these areas.
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