What new thoughts does a woman living in an abusive relationship need to embrace to start feeling empowered in her life?
Unless we get clear about the beliefs that program our thoughts and actions, we will not be aware of why we do things, the way we do things when we do them – we thus find ourselves stuck and remain in abusive intolerable situations.
Paradigms are thought patterns and beliefs that guide HOW WE THINK, BEHAVE, AND ACT.
Here are some paradigms that are quite common to women that are involved in toxic and abusive relationships.
Which ones apply to you?
Old Thoughts and Behaviours: Getting caught up in the drama constantly reacting to it.
New Paradigm and Empowering Thought: YOU now know that you can determine how you think feel and act. You don’t have to respond or get sucked into someone else’s bad behavior.
Old Thoughts and Behaviours: Lack of clearly defined values of what you think and believe are important to you.
New Paradigm and Empowering Thought: YOU now take the time to think through what is important to you and know that you are entitled to have your own beliefs and values and have a right to live by them.
Old Thoughts and Behviours: Defined by the other person focusing on what the other person is doing rather than defining yourself and your needs.
New Paradigm and Empowering Thought: YOU now shift your focus to prioritizing your own needs and know that this is not being selfish; this is vital and necessary to your wellbeing.
Old Thoughts and Behaviours: Living a relationship based on hope rather than acknowledging the reality.
New Paradigm and Empowering Thought: YOU now pay attention to your partner’s actions and behaviours. YOU no longer just focus on listening to his words.
Old Thoughts and Behaviours: Unawareness of the impact that aggressive hostile behaviour can have on the developing mind of a child
New Paradigm and Empowering Thought: YOU now know and understand that an aggressive, hostile and tense environment is detrimental to your child’s ability to learn and grow in a healthy way.
|Old thoughts and Behaviours: Lack of awareness of the impact and fear that children experience when they witness and hear the person they depend on being mistreated,|
New Paradigm and Empowered Thought: YOU now know that your child is anxious, fearful and concerned about your safety, even if you are not, and this creates a tremendous amount of stress for them which again detracts from their ability to learn and grow in a healthy way.
Old Thoughts and Behaviours: Failure to understand the importance of developing a code of conduct that you instill in your children and live by.
New Paradigms and Empowered Thought: YOU now understand that parents are teachers, and are thus responsible for modeling appropriate, respectful behaviours to their children, in order for them to grow up to be responsible law abiding people with good social skills and this is all done within the context of family life.
EMPOWERMENT means TAKING ACTION ON YOUR OWN BEHALF and rather than being acted UPON.
The simple act of changing how you view yourself and your situation can be the most important step you take in the journey towards EMPOWERMENT.