LET IT GO
What to do with an angry family relationship?
When I first met Anita (not her real name) I was shocked by the scars that she displayed on her arms. Her purse was filled with some sort of medicinal balm that she aggressively applied repeatedly. There was a story hidden behind those scars, as I soon found out, a history of neglect and abuse and self-loathing.
“Do you think these scars represent how you feel about yourself today?” I asked her.
“Maybe.” She responded.
“I hate Christmas, birthdays. It just makes me feel like a small kid all over again, neglected and unloved.”
As we continued with our discussion, I asked her if she had ever spoken with her mother about her childhood and discussed how she felt.
“I can’t!” She cried adamantly.
“I will never tell her how I feel.”
“Why not,” I asked gently.
“She would just dismiss my feelings the way she always does and I couldn’t bear it.”
As she told her story of her childhood, I could feel the depth of her anger and pain.
Anita was hurtfully stuck in her relationship with her mother.
Do you have unresolved issues from your past, the family you grew up in, that interfere with your present functioning and the family that you have now created?
If your family life was dysfunctional growing up if you suffered as a child if you carry childhood wounds from the past that you still hold on to, then…….
LET THEM GO.
Give them up and let them go.
Let go of the YEARNING for the family and relationships you always wanted. Let go of the childhood dreams that never came to fruition.
It’s time to grow up.
Really grow up.
It’s time to relate to your past family, the family you grew up in as an adult now and not as a child.
According to psychotherapist Jerry Wise: “Our family today can not heal our childhood wounds. They are ours to heal.”
In essence, we have to make our peace with these wounds and ultimately make our peace with our parents.
We often hold our parents to a higher standard than we hold ourselves simply because they are our parents and we are seeing them through childish eyes. In doing this, we are not being fair to them; we see them in terms of their role responsibilities and relationship to us. They are so much more than that – they are human beings in their own right and as such have the right to make mistakes and mess up just as we do.
What is it that you bring from your family of origin that remains unresolved for you in your world today?
What do you tell yourself about this story?
What do you have to let go of in order to move forward?
We have a choice we can keep the old story or we can create a new more empowering ones.
We can not have both.
We have to let go in order to move forward. You can not move ahead if you are constantly looking backward.
According to Jim Rohm “The day you graduate from your childhood is the day you take full responsibility for your life.”
As for Anita, she now applies the medicinal balm to her arms more lovingly and smoothly while allowing those old scars to heal.
Are you struggling with old childhood issues that are interfering with your life and family today?
Maybe, it’s time to talk to a professional about ways that you can move forward with those old stories. If that is you and you are finally ready to release and let go of those old family stories that are keeping you stuck, then connect with me here.
Have a half-hour conversation with me. Let’s see if together we can come up with a plan.
Life is for living in the present, not the past. That’s why it’s called the PRESENT and that is the GIFT!