I wanted to share my love of Planoly the Instagram scheduling and design APP with as many people as possible. I just love this APP. It allows you to design your feed and set it up in a way that is cohesive and allows you to align with your brand.
You can do all the things you can do with Instagram with Planoly, Direct Message people, Like posts, respond to people, Tag people, write captions, create hashtag lists and add them to your respective posts.
You can create Instagram stories on Planoly as well.
As soon as you post to Planoly you can automatically post to Facebook and if you want to you can set up your Planoly account to connect with Pinterest too.
There is a free version of Planoly that allows you to upload approximately 30 images a month, if you want more flexibility you can upgrade to the paid APP.
I find the cost to be quite reasonable.
Here is the link to the free version here. Check it out and let me know if you like it as much as I do.
I am also attaching my link to my Instagram account. Come on over and Direct Message me and let me know what you think of the new look. I would love to hear from you –YAYor NAY?
The Holiday season can leave us feeling jaded with all of its commercialism. If you haven’t yet been able to truly embrace the “reason for the season,” as some call it, you might want to give some serious thought to these 5 different opportunities that allow you to give back.
Joining with others in giving back for the blessings that have been bestowed on you is a great way to make it the holidays as joyful and memorable for you as well.
Consider these 5 ideas:
Visit a children’s hospital. Kids who are sick need to know that they’re loved and cared for. You can give them that reassurance by spending time with them during this season of giving. Your visits will provide much-needed encouragement and bring some special joy into their day.
Find out from your local children’s hospital if they have a program which allows you to become a mentor to young patients.
Make play dates or plan to read stories.
Add the children to your social media network so they feel involved.
Donate cash, food, clothes, toys, or other gifts. Sometimes the most direct way to give is to donate cash or goods to a needy individual or organization. Your contribution can make a meaningful difference in an individual’s life or a program’s ability to help the masses. It’s easy to embrace the season when you realize how much you are appreciated!
If you have children, this is the time for them to go through the toys they no longer want and to give them away so that another child might benefit from their use. This is a good time to teach children about giving as a way to make space for receiving.
Adopt a pet. Taking an abandoned pet into your home is one of the most heartwarming things you’ll ever experience! Animals have such a direct way of showing gratitude by giving back unconditional love and loyalty.
For those unable to adopt an animal how about volunteering at your local animal shelter, walk a dog, play with a cat. They may not know that it is the season of good will, but you will, and it will make you feel good about yourself.
Count your blessings. Sometimes all it takes to embrace the season of giving is sincere appreciation of all the blessings you’ve received. When you take a moment to look at all you’ve received and achieved, you’ll realize that you have more than you imagined and can then feel free to share your wealth – both financial and spiritual – with others.
Spend precious time with those you love. Precious memories with family members and other loved ones are worth more than their weight in gold. It’s an awesome feeling to let those closest to you know how important they are to you. That’s probably the best gift you’ll ever give them!
While you’re at it since it is the season of good will, how about making peace with someone who you have been in conflict with. The art of forgiveness begins with letting go and releasing those hurtful painful experiences from the past that tend to block and interfere with our feelings in the present. You will feel all the better for doing this.
As you can see, the season of giving can really mean what you want it to mean. Embrace it by choosing your own special way to give back to others while giving thanks for all you’ve received.
Customize the season to fit your life and cater to the things that are really important to you.
Adopting all or one of these simple ideas, will not only help you to embrace the concept of giving this holiday season; adopting any one of these ideas will ensure that you will create important new memories that you will be able to cherish for a long time.
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Let’s expand upon the concept of how to recognize your inner critic. After all, if you don’t know when this mean internal voice is sabotaging you, how can you address it?
While everyone’s critic is different, there are some commonalities you can observe to give you the heads up that you may be telling yourself some things that aren’t true. Be aware of these patterns in order to recognize your inner critic.
Harsh Words
Your inner critic is often not very nice. That’s obvious. However, this voice tends to go beyond just being unkind. It can be downright mean. When you notice yourself having thoughts that are particularly harsh, take note. It’s probably your inner critic.
It’s okay to give yourself some constructive feedback and to strive to do better sometimes, but your inner critic’s language is not usually productive encouraging and kind. It’ tends to bring you down which can often hold you back. You must find ways to reframe, and dispel what it is saying to you.
Unfair Comparisons
Your inner critic is also fantastic at comparing your abilities, possessions, and life to those of other people. These comparisons are never fair or just. Rather, they always tell you that someone else is better than you or that you’ll never measure up. Again, these messages don’t do anything to serve you and you should try and ignore them. Your only competition is yourself.
Repetitive Messages
As noted, that bullying inner voice tends to say the same things again and again. When you find yourself ruminating on a less-than-desirable trait or agonizing over past events again and again, find a way to interrupt those thoughts. Tell yourself to stop. Take a break and try to look at things more realistically. Your inner critic repeats these harmful messages as a way of sabotaging you. The more you tell yourself these words, the more likely you are to believe them. This is definitely a case for reframing a negative message to a more realistic and positive one.
Not in Your Best Interests
Finally, it’s important to emphasize once more that your inner critic sees its role as to keep you in your zone of comfort. It is not an advocate for you to take risks, or to try something new. It is not speaking up for your goals or best interests. It’s not a tool that works to help you do better.
So, although we may want to “shut up” our inner critic, (perhaps silence would have been a better word), you don’t want to go around fighting with yourself when it comes to this issue. The same way that you wouldn’t be critical of a friend if you wanted to encourage or lift them up, that’s how you need to be with yourself.
So, please try to be gentle with yourself when dealing with this issue and see addressing your inner critic as an act of self-love and self-empowerment.
These tips for recognizing your inner critic will serve you well as you pursue this journey of becoming stronger and more in charge of your thoughts.
Sometimes there’s more than our own perceptions influencing that voice inside our heads. We have a lifetime of experiences that have contributed to who we are. It only makes sense that our interactions with the people in our lives would have an influence on the messages we give ourselves. This is likely true of you. If you think about it, can you name one or more people who have sent you negative messages over the course of your life? We internalize these words and make them a part of our being. Overcoming the negative influence of past experiences takes a lot of work. Use these tips to help you along the path.
Recognize Past Influences
First, it’s important that you become aware of past influences and how they’ve affected your self-talk. This awareness can be a difficult and emotionally draining process, but it’s important to go through it in order to understand where your self-critical beliefs may stem from. Think about the types of negative messages you may have received throughout your life. Which have been repetitive? Those are the ones that may be most difficult to extinguish. Who was the source of these harsh words? The relationship may make the messages even stronger.
Trust Your Gut
Once you’ve established a pattern of past criticisms, it’s time to tear them apart. Examine them carefully and try to separate what’s true from what someone else may have simply placed upon you due to their own issues. Trust your gut when making these determinations. You know yourself well enough to accept your flaws and limitations. We all have them, and that’s okay. Just be sure you also trust yourself enough to know what’s fiction.
Counter Each Negative with a Positive
A good strategy to get in the habit of using is to counter each negative statement you make with at least one positive one. If you determine that there is a bit of truth to some of the past messages you’ve received, accept that. However, be sure to tell yourself at least one positive trait you also possess in order to not get mired in the negative beliefs you’ve internalized throughout your life. Getting stuck in the negative is never productive.
Seek Help
Some of the negative influences from your past may be too entrenched to deal with on your own. Don’t hesitate to seek help from a professional counselor if you feel you would benefit from an unbiased source to help you sort through it all. There’s no shame in receiving assistance.
Use these tips as a guideline when dealing with past experiences that have shaped your inner critic. Soon, you’ll be better able to recognize what is true from what has been internalized through the words of others.
We all know about fear of failure but have you heard about the fear of success?
The fear and anxiety that some people have on a deep interpersonal level about actually achieving what it is they actually want.
If you find yourself achieving only small, fleeting successes, but the great things you deserve always seem just out of reach, you may be the victim of your fear of success.
Your fear of success may be tough to identify and understand because the causes are frequently hidden from conscious awareness. Your fear may be lurking in your subconscious mind and you may never even discover that this challenge exists within you without some real probing.
Yet, this fear can cause you to sabotage your pursuit of your most cherished dreams. So how do you find out if your actions are motivated by fear of success?
Is the Fear of Success Sabotaging You?
The power of writing in your journal about this question can enlighten your understanding of your relationship with this topic.
Think of a goal that you’d like to achieve. Then, take 20-30 minutes and answer the following question: “What will happen if I succeed?” Write down everything you can think of – both good and bad consequences of achieving your goal.
It’s important to take at least 20 minutes to answer the question. Your early answers are likely to be superficial. Simply keep writing for at least 20 minutes. Put down everything that comes to mind. Nothing is too silly or too small. If, after 20 minutes, you’re still getting good stuff, then keep on going.
Suppose your goal is to make $250,000 this year. In your excitement, you might quickly write down some of the things you’ve wanted to buy, and, once you have the money, you can. But then, as you delve further into all your feelings about achieving your goal, some of the not-so-positive consequences of your achievement begin to appear.
Some of these consequences may reveal things you fear happening if you really achieved your goal.
Goals are never completely free of fear. Achievement always involves change, and all change involves some apprehension.
You might truly desire to be successful, but if the feelings of fear due to the changes outweigh the positive feelings in your mind, progress will be slow and challenging.
Eliminating Your Fear of Success
If you can make yourself aware of your apprehensions, you have the opportunity to challenge them and if you can’t eliminate them you can at least minimize them.
Looking directly at these fears is very powerful. Fears that are not acknowledged tend to grow stronger. Fears that are examined tend to be minimized, which will help you to take empowered action towards the completion of your goal.
Ultimately, if you look closely at your fears, you’ll see that the perceived side effects are what often seem scariest when pursing goals. But the question to ask yourself, is simply this:
Is this fear real or is it a story that I am telling myself?
If you can begin to explore the story, the next question to ask is yourself is this:
What do I need to do to let this story go?
And finally, you need to ask the following question:
When will I be ready to let this story go?
So, there you have it 3 power questions that CAN help you to tackle your fear of success.
If you are looking for further information on this topic check out my new online course now available on UDEMY.
The Bully Within Master Your Inner Critic Maximize Your Potential.
Go ahead!
Tackle your fears head on so you can start living your life and achieving your dreams today!
Your inner critic can really hold you back. Once you start to internalize the messages your fear and doubt give you, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of avoiding anything that seems too difficult or scary. You truly can break this pattern. The key lies in learning to manage your inner dialogue.
What You Say to Yourself Matters
The words you tell yourself really can have an influence on how you feel and behave. This internal dialogue can spiral into an incessant pattern of negative messages if you’re not careful. These words feed upon each other, and you end up telling yourself things that make you feel bad. While it’s true this can hold you back from trying new things or reaching specific goals, it can also have a negative effect on your daily mood. When you tell yourself something long enough, you start to believe it. Internal dialogue is powerful. It can lead to stress, anxiety, depression, and more. Often, what you tell yourself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and your words become truth.
How to Take Control of the Conversation
There is good news, though. once you recognize the negative pattern of words, you can start to turn them around. Just as negative messages can make you feel bad, positive ones can improve your outlook. When you think more positively, you’ll start to feel more optimistic. Your actions will also reflect this positivity. So, take time to listen to the things you’re saying to yourself. Take notes of the common threads. Put a positive spin on things when you catch yourself saying mean things. Look for the reality and find ways to address the problem. Pay attention to how you feel when you turn your negative thoughts into more realistic and positive ones. Chances are you’ll immediately feel a little better. Use that feeling to guide future internal conversations.
Learning New Patterns Takes Time
Affirmations can be powerful. Once you start giving yourself pep talks and turning things around, it’s likely things will get better. You know the real person you are. Reminding yourself of your strengths can make it easier to shut your inner dialogue up. However, these things can take time. You’ve probably been telling yourself these things and tearing yourself down for a lifetime. Learning new habits requires repetition in order to put them in place. So, be gentle with yourself if you backslide. That’s to be expected. With practice, you’ll get there. Positive self-talk will replace the bad more often than not. You’ll see.
Keep this advice in mind when your inner dialogue gets to be too much.
To find out more about your Inner Critic check out my new online course on UDEMY Your Bully Within Master Your Inner Critic Maximize Your Potential.
When I first met Anita (not her real name) I was shocked by the scars that she displayed on her arms. Her purse was filled with some sort of medicinal balm that she aggressively applied repeatedly. There was a story hidden behind those scars, as I soon found out, a history of neglect and abuse and self-loathing.
“Do you think these scars represent how you feel about yourself today?” I asked her.
“Maybe.” She responded.
“I hate Christmas, birthdays. It just makes me feel like a small kid all over again, neglected and unloved.”
As we continued with our discussion, I asked her if she had ever spoken with her mother about her childhood and discussed how she felt.
“I can’t!” She cried adamantly.
“I will never tell her how I feel.”
“Why not,” I asked gently.
“She would just dismiss my feelings the way she always does and I couldn’t bear it.”
As she told her story of her childhood, I could feel the depth of her anger and pain.
Anita was hurtfully stuck in her relationship with her mother.
Do you have unresolved issues from your past, the family you grew up in, that interfere with your present functioning and the family that you have now created?
If your family life was dysfunctional growing up if you suffered as a child if you carry childhood wounds from the past that you still hold on to, then…….
RELEASE THEM.
LET THEM GO.
Give them up and let them go.
Let go of the YEARNING for the family and relationships you always wanted. Let go of the childhood dreams that never came to fruition.
It’s time to grow up.
Really grow up.
It’s time to relate to your past family, the family you grew up in as an adult now and not as a child.
According to psychotherapist Jerry Wise: “Our family today can not heal our childhood wounds. They are ours to heal.”
In essence, we have to make our peace with these wounds and ultimately make our peace with our parents.
We often hold our parents to a higher standard than we hold ourselves simply because they are our parents and we are seeing them through childish eyes. In doing this, we are not being fair to them; we see them in terms of their role responsibilities and relationship to us. They are so much more than that – they are human beings in their own right and as such have the right to make mistakes and mess up just as we do.
What is it that you bring from your family of origin that remains unresolved for you in your world today?
What do you tell yourself about this story?
What do you have to let go of in order to move forward?
We have a choice we can keep the old story or we can create a new more empowering ones.
We can not have both.
We have to let go in order to move forward. You can not move ahead if you are constantly looking backward.
According to Jim Rohm “The day you graduate from your childhood is the day you take full responsibility for your life.”
As for Anita, she now applies the medicinal balm to her arms more lovingly and smoothly while allowing those old scars to heal.
Are you struggling with old childhood issues that are interfering with your life and family today?
Maybe, it’s time to talk to a professional about ways that you can move forward with those old stories. If that is you and you are finally ready to release and let go of those old family stories that are keeping you stuck, then connect with me here.
Joining with others in giving back for the blessings that have been bestowed on you is a great way to make it the holidays as joyful and memorable for you as well.
.”Break the Chains and Step Forward into the Future.” 